He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
