Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Randomize
