honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
