How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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