so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Randomize
