I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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