So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
