oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Randomize