just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
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