kristin has been a bad kristin
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Who did Billy Mays play for?
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize
