If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Randomize
