I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
