ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
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