Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I still have a little drunk in my system
Randomize
