perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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