Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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