Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
