Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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