she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
