Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
50% drunk capacity currently
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
