I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
