I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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