My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
