Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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