She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
