I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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