Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Randomize
