Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
