no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
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