This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
