Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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