Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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