White coat. Heels.
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
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