Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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