He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
