He uses pillows to masturbate.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
