Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Randomize
