there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
