Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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