Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
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