Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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