I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
