My hand turned me down
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
