Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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