i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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