I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Randomize
