my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Randomize