ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
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