Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
