I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
