im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
