I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
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