it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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