just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
