He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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