we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
