Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
