I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Randomize
