I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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