she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
