Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
