i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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