i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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