is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize