Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
