I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I'm always down for nudity.
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