Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I'm like, not good at living.
Randomize
