What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Randomize
