If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
