well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
