I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
i just google imaged poop.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
