So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
