Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Randomize
