I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
