every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
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