SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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