listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
