Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
