Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
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